


It's always been you

by Countryrose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys Kissing, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 22:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17354051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Countryrose/pseuds/Countryrose
Summary: “Since always, it's only ever been you.   I went away to college thinking the feelings might go away with distance but they didn’t if anything it made them worse.  I tried with Jess, i really did but it was never going to be enough it was always you.  And then you came back and I felt like i would explode i had missed you so much.  And I’ve been keeping it hidden until it all hit me you could have died, I could have lost you. “





	It's always been you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BenLMoore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenLMoore/gifts).



> This is just a one shot that i couldn't get out of my head. This work is unbeta'd they don't ship this pairing.

The car ride back to the motel was tense to say the least. Dean didn't even put on music like usual. He just sat there in silence, jaw clenched and seemingly focused on the road. But when Sam started to open his mouth to talk Dean threw his hand up meaning he was not talking about this now so shut it. Which gave Sam a lot of time to dwell on what had happened to cause this awkwardness. 

It had been a simple salt and burn. Sam lost the coin toss so he was doing the digging while Dean was keeping a lookout for the ghost. When Dean leaned in to ask Sam how much longer it would be the ghost got a jump on him. Deans shouts of “Hurry it up Sammy.” had Sam rushing to get the bones burnt and only after hearing Dean gasp and yell “Finally.” did he scramble over to his brother. Sam was so relieved that Dean was okay that he couldn’t control himself and he surged forward and brought their lips together. They were as soft as he had always imagined they would be. As their lips moved against each other he could feel Dean responding and trying to deepen the kiss. Sam could live forever in this feeling. This was what he had always dreamed of. When abruptly Dean pulled away and shoved Sam away from him with a shout. Stalking to the car he barked over his shoulder “Get in the car.” in a voice which Sam knew meant he was pissed and was not going to tolerate anything but obedience.

 

Once they arrived back at the motel Dean was up and out of the car not even casting a glance Sam’s way, storming to the room leaving Sam nothing to do but follow. Sam had no sooner shut the door behind him when Dean had him pinned up against it stretching up slightly to push his arm across Sam's throat. Neutral expression on his face, keeping eye contact, Dean asks in an even sounding voice enunciating each word “Why did you kiss me?” Sam hid his head in his shoulder in shame mumbling “‘Im so sorry Dean, I’m messed up, I know it's not right. I shouldn't have kissed you. I just couldn’t control it this time. I don't know whats wrong with me . I don't know why i feel this way about you I just can't help it.” And he would have kept going but dean put his hand under his chin raising it up saying “uh uh Sammy eyes on me.” As Sam finally made eye contact with Dean he could see no disgust or anger in his eyes just curiosity. Dean must have been satisfied with something he read in Sams eyes because he smiled softly and said “ How long?” 

Sam figured it was now or never may as well tell Dean how long he had been screwed up. Searching Dean’s eyes he had a tiny spark of hope that maybe he wasn't the only one that felt this way maybe they could actually have this so he took a deep breath and rambled out “Since always, it's only ever been you. I went away to college thinking the feelings might go away with distance but they didn’t if anything it made them worse. I tried with Jess, i really did but it was never going to be enough it was always you. And then you came back and I felt like i would explode i had missed you so much. And I’ve been keeping it hidden until it all hit me you could have died, I could have lost you. “ the words kept coming out and if his lips were not suddenly covered by another pair he may have went on forever. Finally Dean pulled away and resting his forehead against Sam’s and looking into his eyes he said softly “me too.”


End file.
